We all know that effective relationships require communication. How can you have meaningful conversations when getting to know someone?
Men and women often say they feel like they're on the witness stand being quizzed by a nice but persistent prosecutor on first and second dates. Yikes! Not appealing.
Why does our culture choose this way to start conversations? It seems we all do it. We're not sure, but we recommend an alternative model for our clients that can be used in all interactions. Simply put: Don't question on a date.
This type of asking when getting to know someone (or even when talking to someone you already know) shifts responsibility for the interpersonal agenda from you to them.
You build the conversation around your needs, and the other person (who feels put on the spot) must choose what to say.
Not a discourse or conversation. This is a one-sided conversation. They feel pressured to prove themselves since it's about what you want to talk about and know.
Say how you feel instead of asking questions. Instead of asking questions, tell your narrative and let the other person answer.
We used to ask our kids or parents, "How was school today?" The answer was always "Fine." The classic "Where did you go?" "Out." "What did you do?" "Nothing.